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You’ll be the death of me, I swear you will.

You are exactly my brand of heroin.

Edward Cullen

(Don't) Trust Me

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November 4th, 2009

The mun is busy, so a meme!

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Shiny Volvo Owner
Roleplay Love Meme

October 22nd, 2009

He watched her sleep, tossing and turning, saying his name.

He watched her walk around school with her human friends, stealing looks at him every now and then.

He watched the way that the leech, Jacob Black, would stare at her in obvious longing when clearly, Bella Swan belonged to him.

It ached at Edward, a little each day, that she was so fragile, so human, yet longing to leave that life forever. Every kiss tore at his restraint, the scent of her causing visions of killing Bella in various fashions to fill his head until he couldn't think straight. He was the worst sort of predator, because she loved him and put full trust into him.

He finally couldn't stand it any longer after Jasper attacked her. A simple birthday party, and yet every vampire in his family had to leave the room save for Carlisle. For a finger cut. That was when Edward knew that he would leave her.

He'd always known what was best for Bella, anyway.

Once he was gone, though, it was far, far worse. He never changed his clothing -- it ended up quite torn and tattered while he hunted for Victoria to occupy his mind. His hair was disheveled. For someone already dead, he looked like death itself, finally.

Until he was told of Bella's death.

He was going to die, perhaps not to join her in Heaven, but at least death would be preferable to the way he was living at the moment. The Volturri were of no help when he offered himself to them, so Edward decided to walk into the sun. Then, they would have to kill him.

Oh, he wanted to die, but since Carlisle knew of no way to properly kill oneself, Edward was at a loss as to how to die, except to have others do the dirty work for him. Selfish and perhaps slightly cowardly to let another kill you, he thought, but at least he had the courage to die in a world without Bella Swan.

Edward Cullen
The Twilight Saga
341

September 28th, 2009

(Letter written but never given to Bella Swan)

While Rosalie claims she did love another when she was human, Emmett never has. He has been devoted to his wife since she asked Carlisle to change him into a vampire... to save him.

Alice and Jasper are the pair of lovers equally devoted, and I must admit that I have experienced some envy of them -- I think the whole family has, actually.

Carlisle... my father. I cannot imagine how his life was like before he found Esme, my mother. She, like Rosalie, loved another as a human and lost her child, yet she has nothing but love for Carlisle now.

I am alone in my family, though -- I have never loved another, never sought another to complete my existence, until you came along Bella. I love you for all eternity, and if you ever left me in any manner, my own life would end as well. I would like to think we would meet in Heaven, but we both know that not to be true. Still, I am forever yours,

Edward.

(Letter written after Bella was attacked by Jasper)

I have never loved you, Bella. You do not belong in my world. Do not try to find me or my family.

You were a mistake.

Edward Cullen
The Twilight Saga
216

August 24th, 2009

"She accused me of not behaving like a human."

Emmett just looked at me and laughed. Never in my life had I wanted to hit him more than I did in that moment. "You're not human. Didn't Bella get that?"

I frowned and looked back at the composition I was writing. "It was a joke, I suppose. Although I really don't see the point of it considering that the entire family has been nearly begging me to act more human, to love someone, and now that I finally do..." I didn't finish my thoughts.

"Yeah, now that you finally do, she sees that you act like an idiot, just like everyone else."

I sulked, as Rosalie would have phrased it. Pouted, as Alice would have. "I would like to think that next to Carlisle, I am the most composed of the family, and that I have retained my dignity throughout the years..."

My brother interrupted me.

Read more...Collapse )

Edward Cullen
The Twilight Saga
382

July 9th, 2009

It was the worst sort of lie I could have told her, and yet I did so without any pause.

I was, and still am, the monster that Bella thinks I am not. God has damned my family and me for the crimes we have committed; as vampires we cannot have souls. How could we when all we truly crave is the blood of a human, and every day we have to fight off that instinct?

I told Bella to stay away from me because I would not be a good friend for her, and that much is the truth. I never once told her that I didn't care for her or didn't love her; no, that was a lie I chose to keep for later when I would hurt her more so that I could save her.

I told her to stay away, and she wouldn't. I told her I didn't love her, and she believed me in an instant.

How the one human girl in all the world who looked upon me and saw something other than a monster could believe me is something I still to this day do not understand. I tried to keep myself busy while I was apart from her, tracking down Victoria and failing miserably. I read books, I spent as little time with my family as possible... I tried to move on with my own life as I had forced Bella to do -- all for a lie.

I have lost count now of how many times I have told Bella Swan to stay away from me. If I had been able to read her mind at all, I would have known the truth of her feelings toward me. I could have prevented heartbreak for us both, and I most certainly could have prevented the dogs in Forks from ever becoming friends with her.

Instead, I chose the coward's path, and for that, I am forever sorry.

Edward Cullen
The Twilight Saga
325

June 24th, 2009

OOC - Hiatus

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Shiny Volvo Owner
This LJ is on a short hiatus until RL calms down a bit for the mun. Thank you for understanding.

June 21st, 2009

Carlisle...

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Cullen Kids - Cafeteria
You are the best of us all. I strive to be you in every possible way, yet I know I never will be as good a person as you.

I do hope that on today of all days, you understand how truly important you are to our family.

- Edward

May 24th, 2009

Bella looked over the cliff.

Jacob had promised to take her cliff-diving, but he wasn't around. She didn't know that she'd lost her mind when she'd lost Edward. She wasn't suicidal, either... she was simply lost, confused, and desperate to hear his voice.

She took a step closer to the edge.

"Bella, that is quite enough."

The voice. The voice in her head. His voice, even if he didn't love her, even if he was gone forever, it could still be there. Put herself in harm's way, and the voice would return to yell at her.

"Bella. Stop this nonsense. This isn't some child's game to play to simply make me appear."

She spun around and he was there, there, and that was when she knew she'd lost her mind. "Edward...?"

"Why would you stoop to this?" The Edward-ghost stepped closer to her, and she could almost touch him if he was real. "I had always thought you to be smarter, but this is quite idiotic."

Didn't he understand? She needed him.

"You don't need me, Bella," he answered her, as if he could read her mind when she knew he couldn't. As if he was physically there, when he couldn't possibly be!

Another step closer of the ghost-Edward, shimmering not like a diamond in the sunlight, but like a faded image. A memory that was slipping away somehow, flickering in and out of her mind. "I'll not have it," he warned her, his voice angry and cold. He needed her, too, only Edward was gone, forbidding himself the touch of the human girl that he longed to have in more ways than one. It was safer, he had told himself, because he knew what was best for her. She was his. She would do as he told her to do and then everything would be better for her.

"I love you," she whispered to him before she stepped back to the cliff, ready to jump.

"I'll not forgive you if you do this, Bella. The motorcycles? Purposely walking into an area where men would attack you? You cannot understand how angry I've been with you for your foolishness. Stop this, right now. It's dangerous, and you cannot take care of yourself."

She jumped. And heard the angry scream of Edward all the way down, a sound that wasn't human at all.

Edward Cullen
The Twilight Saga
392
OOC Note: The idea for this prompt is based off some of the changes that will take place in the movie New Moon.

May 12th, 2009

aamuses No blaming.

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Ready to Run
"Edward, you've got to stop doing this."

He looked up at his brother and raised one eyebrow. "Stop doing what, Emmett?"

There was a sigh as Emmett licked the rest of the blood off his lips and glanced behind him at the dead grizzly. "You've got to stop blaming yourself for that girl. Whatshername."

"Bella Swan."

"Yeah, yeah." Emmett perched up on a rock next to Edward, who was standing immobile. It had been Emmett's idea to take Edward hunting, figuring that another round of attack-the-cougars couldn't hurt any, especially since Edward was back into his broody-mode. It seriously made Emmett consider talking to Rose, just to see if maybe she'd consider breaking down a few walls with some nice, loud sex. That way, Edward would have to stop being so noble and just give in. Either change the girl into a vampire, or kill her like he wanted.

Edward sighed. "I know what you're thinking, Emmett, and it won't work." His hands slid into his coat pockets as he turned to face his brother. "I don't want to kill her anymore, either."

That got Emmett's attention. "Okay... so change her, then. Edward, we talked about this."

"Yes, and I'll tell you the same thing I told you before. No. It's the same thing I told her, as well." He pushed off the rock and looked down at the dead cougar by his feet. "I'll not make her into a monster, the same as me."

"But you can't stay away from her, either," Emmett pointed out, wondering why Edward was suddenly so fascinated with his food.

Edward stroked the dead animal's fur softly. "No. I can't."

"Look, if she wants this, then don't you think she gets a say? What if she wants to be a vampire? Big deal, you make her one. Carlisle and Esme would be happy if you found someone. Hell, I'd be happy if you found someone, the way Rose found me." It was all pretty simple in Emmett's mind, at least.

"You want me to change her into a monster, this girl I've come to love, and not blame myself for it?"

Emmett shifted a little bit. "Well... yeah."

"I'll get back to you on that." And with that, Edward took off running. Emmett never caught up to him.

Edward Cullen
The Twilight Saga
384

April 12th, 2009

Thank you, swan_singer.

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Bella - What if I'm the Bad Guy?
Bella, you really shouldn't have done that, but I do appreciate the thoughtfulness of the gift.

And, of course, I love you.
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